Walter

Chief Dog Treat Advocate (Open to Bribes)

Practice Areas:

Walter, a basset hound with ears longer than most legal briefs, takes his role as Chief Dog Treat Advocate very seriously—though he remains suspicious of any sudden movements. Skittish yet highly motivated by snacks, Walter expertly balances cautious observation with relentless treat negotiations. His lobbying tactics include soulful stares from a safe distance, dramatic sighs, and a slow, hesitant approach (just in case you’re holding something tasty).

When not hard at work advocating for a more snack-inclusive workplace, Walter can be found cautiously peeking around office corners, lounging in the coziest (and most secure) spot available, and begrudgingly accepting pets…so long as they come with appropriate compensation. His dedication to the cause is unwavering, though he reserves the right to flee at a moment’s notice.

As an aside, please refrain from singing “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” in Walter’s vicinity…it’s a sore subject.

Bar Admissions:

  • Arizona

Education

  • The Puppy Dog School for Pooches, Distinguished Honor Graduate
  • University of Basset Hound Boys, BS in Forensic Treat Accounting

Court Admissions

  • Tucson’s Canine Court—Former Commissioner (2021-2022) Impeached for *allegedly* taking bribes 

Honors & Awards:

  • Best Dramatic Exit, Farhang & Medcoff—2023-Present

Other Experience:

  • Senior Nap Strategist – Has mastered the art of sleeping through meetings while still maintaining an air of quiet authority.
  • Emergency Snack Disposal Unit – Always available to assist with any leftover lunch-related emergencies.
  • Expert Floor Warmer – Specializes in taking up maximum floor space with minimal effort. Tripping hazard status: confirmed.
  • Professional Side-Eye Instructor – Wins every staring contest.

Education

  • The Puppy Dog School for Pooches, Distinguished Honor Graduate
  • University of Basset Hound Boys, BS in Forensic Treat Accounting

Bar Admissions

  • Arizona

Court Admissions

  • Tucson’s Canine Court—Former Commissioner (2021-2022) Impeached for *allegedly* taking bribes 

Education

  • The Puppy Dog School for Pooches, Distinguished Honor Graduate
  • University of Basset Hound Boys, BS in Forensic Treat Accounting